It has been really slow at work lately. People keep coming in and submitting plans, but not a lot of the usual bizzare questions lately. Either that or I have been lucky enough to avoid them.
We did get a real winner in yesterday though. I had already spoken to him for about 30 minutes on the phone and then he decided to stop by. We had already discussed that what he wanted to build was just a shade structure. A shade structure is usually just some metal poles to hold it up and a roof. Typically all metal and also often referred to as a pole barn.
Anyway, after I discussed this with him to see what he was going to be doing he decided that he did not want an engineer to have to design it because the cost would be to high. We talked it out on the phone and when he came by we looked over his drawings for what he wants and what is it? A damn garage.
So instead of paying an engineer for a little work on a pole barn with three sides he will be building a complete wood frame garage.
I think he is going to be unpleasantly surprised to find out that this is going to end up costing a lot more than he planned.
On a side note, regarding the continuing saga from "Throwing Away Money", The guy with the block wall was told that he could continue work on the one building he has under construction as long as his surveyor submitted documentation that the building is where it should be and doesn't need to be moved.
Anybody want to guess on his response to that?
The owner walked the site himself and said that it was where is should be and continued the construction on it.
He was red-tagged yesterday and all construction is now suspended until he complies with our requirements.
What an asshole.
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If you have a chance then jump over to http://www.stripclubserver.blogspot.com/ and read the continuing saga of Jo and her dog Tucker on the Naked Women and Beer blog.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
How Many Rooms Do You Need?
I have noticed a disturbing trend lately. People are just not happy with a normal house anymore. Do most people really need a 7000 square foot house with 11 bedrooms?
I live in a house that is about 1800 square feet. That is a pretty good size house. We are definitely not hurting for room. In fact, it is costing me more money because we had to buy more furniture just to make the place look like a house and not a crash pad. Hell, we have two rooms that we only enter maybe once a week.
What is going on with people? I would say that about 85% of the house plans that come across my desk are for houses that are at least 3000 square feet. Most of the time that does not even include the covered patios and garages. That means these people are spending at least $300K on building that house. They probably already spent a couple hundred thousand on buying the property.
I can actually afford to do something like that but choose not to. I just can not see having a house so big that you never even use half of it, but you still have to clean, furnish, etc. I can't even understand it if you have a lot of kids. you still do not need 11 bedrooms. If you have 10 kids they are going to range in age probably from a baby to about 15 or older. The little kids can share a room and the older ones will be off to college soon (because you damn well better be able to afford it if you can build a house that gigantic). About the time you get that half the kids out of the house you are cleaning, heating, and cooling a giant house that nobody uses.
Seems like a hell of a waste to me.
I guess it is nice for the pervert of the house though to have tons of hiding spaces for his porn...
I live in a house that is about 1800 square feet. That is a pretty good size house. We are definitely not hurting for room. In fact, it is costing me more money because we had to buy more furniture just to make the place look like a house and not a crash pad. Hell, we have two rooms that we only enter maybe once a week.
What is going on with people? I would say that about 85% of the house plans that come across my desk are for houses that are at least 3000 square feet. Most of the time that does not even include the covered patios and garages. That means these people are spending at least $300K on building that house. They probably already spent a couple hundred thousand on buying the property.
I can actually afford to do something like that but choose not to. I just can not see having a house so big that you never even use half of it, but you still have to clean, furnish, etc. I can't even understand it if you have a lot of kids. you still do not need 11 bedrooms. If you have 10 kids they are going to range in age probably from a baby to about 15 or older. The little kids can share a room and the older ones will be off to college soon (because you damn well better be able to afford it if you can build a house that gigantic). About the time you get that half the kids out of the house you are cleaning, heating, and cooling a giant house that nobody uses.
Seems like a hell of a waste to me.
I guess it is nice for the pervert of the house though to have tons of hiding spaces for his porn...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Throwing Away Money
Sorry, I have been sick as a dog the last few days so I have not posted anything new.
I got the pleasure of dealing with a guy in our area building a big strip mall type commercial site. He decided to start the project with construction of a big ass concrete block wall around one side of the property. No problem there because he was building it on the property line, had all his permits, and everything was good to go. So we thought.
Instead of doing the right thing and hiring a surveyor to come out and mark his property line, he figured he knew where it was and he was going to get to work.
Now we have this really nice block wall completed.
He is about 10 feet past his property line on the neighbors property. Of course the neighbor is now bitching, rightly so, about this guy trying to steal his land.
He finally gets a surveyor out there to shoot this thing and see exactly where his property line is. This is when I got involved because I ran out to the site to watch the survey being done. Sure enough, he is at least 10 feet over the line. The really nice part is that he also started construction on one of the buildings and has all of the framework for it completed along with the foundation and roof. There is no way in hell that building is going t meet the required setback from the property line now because he measured it from where he though the property line was.
I anticipate this guy having to tear down the wall and move the building to get this straightened out. He may get the neighbor to sell him that piece of land for a huge amount of money, but I am not holding my breath.
One way or the other, this guy just pissed away thousands of dollars for being stupid. I can't give him the benefit of the doubt about already knowing to check property lines when he started the work because he has done plenty of work like this in the area before.
I wish I had money to throw away like that.
I got the pleasure of dealing with a guy in our area building a big strip mall type commercial site. He decided to start the project with construction of a big ass concrete block wall around one side of the property. No problem there because he was building it on the property line, had all his permits, and everything was good to go. So we thought.
Instead of doing the right thing and hiring a surveyor to come out and mark his property line, he figured he knew where it was and he was going to get to work.
Now we have this really nice block wall completed.
He is about 10 feet past his property line on the neighbors property. Of course the neighbor is now bitching, rightly so, about this guy trying to steal his land.
He finally gets a surveyor out there to shoot this thing and see exactly where his property line is. This is when I got involved because I ran out to the site to watch the survey being done. Sure enough, he is at least 10 feet over the line. The really nice part is that he also started construction on one of the buildings and has all of the framework for it completed along with the foundation and roof. There is no way in hell that building is going t meet the required setback from the property line now because he measured it from where he though the property line was.
I anticipate this guy having to tear down the wall and move the building to get this straightened out. He may get the neighbor to sell him that piece of land for a huge amount of money, but I am not holding my breath.
One way or the other, this guy just pissed away thousands of dollars for being stupid. I can't give him the benefit of the doubt about already knowing to check property lines when he started the work because he has done plenty of work like this in the area before.
I wish I had money to throw away like that.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Show Me The Fee
Let me tell you a little something about building permits. They are required for just about everything you could possible do to a building. If you want to change out the light switch on the wall of your living room with a dimmer, a building permit is required. With that said, if you go into most building departments and ask for a permit to change out your light switch they will laugh at your-rightly so. We get people trying to build a whole house without a permit so your little switch problem just gives us the giggles.
I tell you this because if you plan on building a big patio cover, adding on a room, or converting your garage to living space you had better get that permit. If they catch you doing it you get red tagged and all work must come to a screeching halt. They can also fine you thousands of dollars. On the other hand, if you manage to get the work finished without being caught, it is still illegal and it can’t be counted in the value of your house, plus it can void your insurance. If you ever decide to sell it you will be coming to us to get a permit
We are like most departments in that we will double all of your permit fees if you start work without a permit. That gets pretty damn expensive. People are always bitching to us that it costs too much money. I agree with that, but here is a little breakdown so people can understand.
If you build a house that is about 2000 square feet in our area you will pay us about $6000 for that permit. That does not count the outrageous amount of money you will also have to pay to the school district you are building in (and it does not matter if you have kids, will never have kids, hate kids with a passion, etc.).
People see that $6000 and freak out and yell at us all the time. There are some things they do not understand.
Since the building department is the only department that actually requires a visit by you, all of the other agencies bill their fees through us. That means you are paying your police impact fee, fire department fee, road impact fee, and any other fees your area may have, through US. We are their glorified collection agency.
The actual cost of your building permit that we charge you – about $1600.
You would be happy if that was all you had to pay, and in some areas it is. Then those areas make you run around to 5 other agencies and pay them individually. We are saving you gas so you should be thanking us. You are welcome.
Another little tidbit that may be of some interest to people is that the building department is legally prohibited from making a profit. We can only charge enough money to cover our operating costs. Since you have to do a budget each year we have to figure out what our office costs will be and then adjust the fees so that we cover that amount as close to even as possible.
Please stop bitching to us about the fees. They are actually pretty reasonable on our end and it is not our fault what other agencies charge.
Anyway, I had to deal with a moron today that brings new meaning to the term dumbass. I will tell that on the next post.
I tell you this because if you plan on building a big patio cover, adding on a room, or converting your garage to living space you had better get that permit. If they catch you doing it you get red tagged and all work must come to a screeching halt. They can also fine you thousands of dollars. On the other hand, if you manage to get the work finished without being caught, it is still illegal and it can’t be counted in the value of your house, plus it can void your insurance. If you ever decide to sell it you will be coming to us to get a permit
We are like most departments in that we will double all of your permit fees if you start work without a permit. That gets pretty damn expensive. People are always bitching to us that it costs too much money. I agree with that, but here is a little breakdown so people can understand.
If you build a house that is about 2000 square feet in our area you will pay us about $6000 for that permit. That does not count the outrageous amount of money you will also have to pay to the school district you are building in (and it does not matter if you have kids, will never have kids, hate kids with a passion, etc.).
People see that $6000 and freak out and yell at us all the time. There are some things they do not understand.
Since the building department is the only department that actually requires a visit by you, all of the other agencies bill their fees through us. That means you are paying your police impact fee, fire department fee, road impact fee, and any other fees your area may have, through US. We are their glorified collection agency.
The actual cost of your building permit that we charge you – about $1600.
You would be happy if that was all you had to pay, and in some areas it is. Then those areas make you run around to 5 other agencies and pay them individually. We are saving you gas so you should be thanking us. You are welcome.
Another little tidbit that may be of some interest to people is that the building department is legally prohibited from making a profit. We can only charge enough money to cover our operating costs. Since you have to do a budget each year we have to figure out what our office costs will be and then adjust the fees so that we cover that amount as close to even as possible.
Please stop bitching to us about the fees. They are actually pretty reasonable on our end and it is not our fault what other agencies charge.
Anyway, I had to deal with a moron today that brings new meaning to the term dumbass. I will tell that on the next post.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Need Some Cheese With That?
I hate it when whiners come in. I just hate to break the news to them that:
Yes, it is going to take about a week to look at the revisions you are dropping off.
No, there is no way I can speed that up because I have a giant stack of revisions sitting next to my desk waiting for me to look at them and they got here before you.
I realize you want to get this house/barn/garage/fence/workshop/etc. finished before the bad winter weather sets in. Believe it or not so do all the other people that have plans sitting on my floor waiting for approval. It may come as a shock to you, but there are other people in the area that actually want a roof on their house before it rains. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!
Oh, you say that they are very simple revisions and it should not take me that long so I should just do them right now because it will be easy? I DO NOT CARE! The plans still sitting on my floor, that I have already mentioned several times, may also be quick and easy but I would not know that because you will not GO AWAY.
Perhaps had you actually decided on the way you wanted your project to be done at the beginning you would not be dropping off revisions. I will charge you extra fees for this extra work, but, believe it or not, I do not need the extra work. Please, I am begging you, GET OUT!
Oh, and do not start asking me why other departments need to look at the plans you are submitting. I do not know and I definitely do not care. Do not get an attitude about it with me, take it up with them. I am more than happy to give you their address, directions on how to get to their offices, and their phone number.
We had a guy in today that started that. I have dealt with him before and he can be kind of an ass, but I was trying to help him out so that we could get two sets of plans out of here without wasting a bunch of time on them. I am very nice, as always, and get everything worked out and then discover that there is a problem with approval from the health department.
Me: Hey, I will do what I said and get these finished quickly on our end, but it will still have to wait for Health to sign off.
Ass: What the hell does Health have to do with this? Why does anybody over there even…
Me: Look man, I do not know what the problem is. It is not our problem so you will have to call Health.
Ass: I just do not understand why they even need to look at these because it has nothing to do with them. I just want…
Me: Come on, I already told you, NOT MY PROBLEM. Here is the address and phone number for them. Talk to them. Work it out. I will still get our end finished so you are all set when they sign off.
Ass: I just do not see why…
(Shut the fuck up! Are kidding me here? Have I been unclear?)
I just walked away and back to my office. Turned out he could not even pay all the fees and pick them up today anyway. Thanks for wasting my time, Ass.
Yes, it is going to take about a week to look at the revisions you are dropping off.
No, there is no way I can speed that up because I have a giant stack of revisions sitting next to my desk waiting for me to look at them and they got here before you.
I realize you want to get this house/barn/garage/fence/workshop/etc. finished before the bad winter weather sets in. Believe it or not so do all the other people that have plans sitting on my floor waiting for approval. It may come as a shock to you, but there are other people in the area that actually want a roof on their house before it rains. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!
Oh, you say that they are very simple revisions and it should not take me that long so I should just do them right now because it will be easy? I DO NOT CARE! The plans still sitting on my floor, that I have already mentioned several times, may also be quick and easy but I would not know that because you will not GO AWAY.
Perhaps had you actually decided on the way you wanted your project to be done at the beginning you would not be dropping off revisions. I will charge you extra fees for this extra work, but, believe it or not, I do not need the extra work. Please, I am begging you, GET OUT!
Oh, and do not start asking me why other departments need to look at the plans you are submitting. I do not know and I definitely do not care. Do not get an attitude about it with me, take it up with them. I am more than happy to give you their address, directions on how to get to their offices, and their phone number.
We had a guy in today that started that. I have dealt with him before and he can be kind of an ass, but I was trying to help him out so that we could get two sets of plans out of here without wasting a bunch of time on them. I am very nice, as always, and get everything worked out and then discover that there is a problem with approval from the health department.
Me: Hey, I will do what I said and get these finished quickly on our end, but it will still have to wait for Health to sign off.
Ass: What the hell does Health have to do with this? Why does anybody over there even…
Me: Look man, I do not know what the problem is. It is not our problem so you will have to call Health.
Ass: I just do not understand why they even need to look at these because it has nothing to do with them. I just want…
Me: Come on, I already told you, NOT MY PROBLEM. Here is the address and phone number for them. Talk to them. Work it out. I will still get our end finished so you are all set when they sign off.
Ass: I just do not see why…
(Shut the fuck up! Are kidding me here? Have I been unclear?)
I just walked away and back to my office. Turned out he could not even pay all the fees and pick them up today anyway. Thanks for wasting my time, Ass.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I Know I Will Take Heat For This, But...
if you choose to live in the United States then learn the fucking language!!!!!!!!!!! If you choose to not learn the language then do not try and speak to me. I do not need extra reasons to hate you, you accomplished that when you changed your plans 10 times after I approved them.
I am not being unfair either. I have been to other countries and I can not even remember how many times I have traveled to Mexico. Not one time in all of these trips have I ever expected the people I come in contact with to speak my language. If they do, great, if not then that is a problem I am responsible for fixing. I swear the people here do not feel the same way.
That reminds of this problem woman we have right now.
This woman is coming in almost every other day and, of course, does not speak a word of english. I approved her plans a year ago for this fairly small addition to her house. It is still not done.
That may be because she will not stop changing things. She makes a new change to the plans every week. "Move this window over here and add a window here." or "I want the bathroom where the closet is and the closet where the bathroom is." WTF!!!! Just build the damn house.
Some people may say it is her prerogative to change what she wants. I agree to a point, but we have other things going on here besides this one job and a person who can't just make a decision and follow through with it bogs down the whole system. Anybody who wants to know why government issues move too slow, that is the reason (unless it is the Department of Motor Vehicles because those people are just incompetent).
I might be a little more sympathetic if she spoke any english and could actually tell me why she wanted to do this. As it is, I just look at them, charge her my fees, and walk away. The whole office knows who she is and I hope she reads this and knows I am talking about her.
I also hope a bee stings her in the eye.
I am not being unfair either. I have been to other countries and I can not even remember how many times I have traveled to Mexico. Not one time in all of these trips have I ever expected the people I come in contact with to speak my language. If they do, great, if not then that is a problem I am responsible for fixing. I swear the people here do not feel the same way.
That reminds of this problem woman we have right now.
This woman is coming in almost every other day and, of course, does not speak a word of english. I approved her plans a year ago for this fairly small addition to her house. It is still not done.
That may be because she will not stop changing things. She makes a new change to the plans every week. "Move this window over here and add a window here." or "I want the bathroom where the closet is and the closet where the bathroom is." WTF!!!! Just build the damn house.
Some people may say it is her prerogative to change what she wants. I agree to a point, but we have other things going on here besides this one job and a person who can't just make a decision and follow through with it bogs down the whole system. Anybody who wants to know why government issues move too slow, that is the reason (unless it is the Department of Motor Vehicles because those people are just incompetent).
I might be a little more sympathetic if she spoke any english and could actually tell me why she wanted to do this. As it is, I just look at them, charge her my fees, and walk away. The whole office knows who she is and I hope she reads this and knows I am talking about her.
I also hope a bee stings her in the eye.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Engineer's Piss Me Off!!!!
I admit that I am not sitting on a BS in engineering here, but I do not think of myself as completely stupid. My expertise is in the building codes. However, to do my job I have to understand the basic principles of engineering to make sure they have been properly incorporated into the plans. It is actually a fairly simple process on my end...when the damn engineer gives me proper calculations.
I got another set this week with shitty engineering. I believe that the results of the engineering are probably acceptable, but how the hell would I know that when all I get is a few sheets of paper saying that this foundation works and these are the weights that it holds up. Believe it or not, to get those numbers you actually have to do math or at least type the information into a computer program and let it do the math. Is it asking to much to just include the math and computer calculations with the submittal. Now I have to go through the hassle of sending out a letter, waiting for you to get it and make the revisions I require, and then review those revisions once you finally turn them in (three months later when I no longer have any idea what the problem was to begin with and now have to completely review the plans again). In the meantime, the asshole that hired you is calling me everyday to find out why you are stupid.
Anyway, my favorite local draftsman came in today. The freaky bastard, I swear, has got to be homeless. He comes in at least once a week wearing the same ratty disgusting shirt, same torn dirty shorts, and flipflops that I think he stole from a homeless person back in 1987. Who hires this freak? He is always submitting new plans that he has drawn up for people on a computer so he definitely gets a lot of business, but come on he looks like shit and smells...well, he smells like he looks. I probably wouldn't care one way or the other, but I seem to always be the one checking his plans, they are never correct, and he always wants to meet with me to see if he fixed it as I requested in my letter.
The girls know just to tell me that the homeless guy is here to see me.
I am always looking under the bridges around town now. I figure odds are in my favor that one day I will spot him sitting under one working on an old computer getting power from a wire he spliced off one of the street lights.
I got another set this week with shitty engineering. I believe that the results of the engineering are probably acceptable, but how the hell would I know that when all I get is a few sheets of paper saying that this foundation works and these are the weights that it holds up. Believe it or not, to get those numbers you actually have to do math or at least type the information into a computer program and let it do the math. Is it asking to much to just include the math and computer calculations with the submittal. Now I have to go through the hassle of sending out a letter, waiting for you to get it and make the revisions I require, and then review those revisions once you finally turn them in (three months later when I no longer have any idea what the problem was to begin with and now have to completely review the plans again). In the meantime, the asshole that hired you is calling me everyday to find out why you are stupid.
Anyway, my favorite local draftsman came in today. The freaky bastard, I swear, has got to be homeless. He comes in at least once a week wearing the same ratty disgusting shirt, same torn dirty shorts, and flipflops that I think he stole from a homeless person back in 1987. Who hires this freak? He is always submitting new plans that he has drawn up for people on a computer so he definitely gets a lot of business, but come on he looks like shit and smells...well, he smells like he looks. I probably wouldn't care one way or the other, but I seem to always be the one checking his plans, they are never correct, and he always wants to meet with me to see if he fixed it as I requested in my letter.
The girls know just to tell me that the homeless guy is here to see me.
I am always looking under the bridges around town now. I figure odds are in my favor that one day I will spot him sitting under one working on an old computer getting power from a wire he spliced off one of the street lights.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Welcome back to the 50's
At least 2 or 3 times a month we will have a man come in to start a permit or ask a question who refuses to deal with a woman. It is always obvious because they will look down on the permit tech ladies and refuse to accept their answer to ANY question they ask. Some are blatant and actually demand to speak to a man. Others are slightly more subtle and will demand to speak with whatever male person they happen to see walking through our office. No matter how it goes down, you can always tell that the real issue is that they refuse to deal with a woman.
We had a recent one that went like this:
Idiot: I want to know if I can start my application even though I do not have a plot plan of the property?
Cindy: Sorry, no you can't. You must have everything with you when you start the application. There is just no way for us to get this started without it because Planning has to sign the plot plan first.
Idiot: I really need to get moving on this so is their a guy in the back I can talk to, like a plan checker?
That is when Cindy rolls to my office and updates me on this guys situation. I tell her I will talk to him and tell him the same thing. So I walk out there and he immediately demands:
Idiot: So can I get this thing started or what?
Me: No.
Nice little 10 second pause while we stare at each other.
Idiot: Oh, okay then.
Me: Okay.
Did I really need to get up from my desk for this shit? At least Cindy gave you information as to why. I spit out one word and you accept it and leave.
When I walk out there I always expect it to be an old man who probably fought in WWII and was raised with women being subservient and that is why he won't listen to a woman. I have yet to be correct. Every single time it is some guy in his twenties or thirties. Who raised these people? That is my age bracket and I am not like that in any way and neither is anyone I know.
We had a recent one that went like this:
Idiot: I want to know if I can start my application even though I do not have a plot plan of the property?
Cindy: Sorry, no you can't. You must have everything with you when you start the application. There is just no way for us to get this started without it because Planning has to sign the plot plan first.
Idiot: I really need to get moving on this so is their a guy in the back I can talk to, like a plan checker?
That is when Cindy rolls to my office and updates me on this guys situation. I tell her I will talk to him and tell him the same thing. So I walk out there and he immediately demands:
Idiot: So can I get this thing started or what?
Me: No.
Nice little 10 second pause while we stare at each other.
Idiot: Oh, okay then.
Me: Okay.
Did I really need to get up from my desk for this shit? At least Cindy gave you information as to why. I spit out one word and you accept it and leave.
When I walk out there I always expect it to be an old man who probably fought in WWII and was raised with women being subservient and that is why he won't listen to a woman. I have yet to be correct. Every single time it is some guy in his twenties or thirties. Who raised these people? That is my age bracket and I am not like that in any way and neither is anyone I know.
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